Princess Pricklepants, Disliker of Manners

Dear reader,

After a helpful delay to teach readers patience, we have returned.  In the interim there’ve been few messages other than Quentin saying things we won’t repeat on this blog to avoid embarrassing him.

Things have been marching along with Her Highness’ education, without any notable issues or events.  She saved Tokyo, continued in truly fascinating art research, had a Disney adventure, and a few other things, but nothing so noteworthy as to mention in a blog.

And so we begin our story with a picture with words under it.*

*We also being our sentences with prepositions.


Princess Pricklepants woke up to another day of learning to be the proper Princess she was born to be, regardless of free will.

Her manners education was not a thing she was very pleased about.  Living with Dinomarm, her manners educator, was not like My Fair Hedgehog. Dinomarm made her walk with books on her head to develop grace and poise.


The staying on the head part really never quite worked out, and Her Highness really wasn’t so sure about grace and poise.


Worse, there were tables to crawl under with great grace and poise, but apparently this was poor etiquette according to some picky manners instructors.


She also had to wear fancy hats.  She was not fond of wearing fancy hats.  Not at all. She was certain that hedgehogs were not born to wear hats.



Sometimes hats were even worse.

Since she wasn’t delighted by her manners lessons, for a while she’d tried to find places to hide.


The living room’s IKEA table was too small.


The kitchen’s IKEA table was also too small.

With no places to hide, Princess Pricklepants decided she did not want to be a hedgehog princess anymore.

And so, Princess Pricklepants decided to be a squirrel.


Being a squirrel was not bad at first, but when she got hungry, she learned that squirrels eat acorns.  She did not like eating acorns at all. Princess Pricklepants did not want to be a squirrel any more.

And so Princess Pricklepants decided to be a Viking.


Being a Viking sounded great at first, though when she found out about needing to ride in boats and raid villages in East Anglia, it sounded less great.  When she decided to eat, though, that’s when it all fell apart.  Apparently Vikings only eat lutefisk, and that’s not something anyone should ever eat, really.  Also Vikings wear hats.

Princess Pricklepants did not want to be a Viking any more.

And so Princess Pricklepants decided to be a pirate.


It turns out there’s really very little difference between being a pirate, and being a Viking, besides the food, but pirate food is best left not discussed, since it’s almost as bad as Viking food.  Also Pirates wear hats.

Princess Pricklepants didn’t want to be a Pirate any more.

And so Princess Pricklepants decided to be a stop-motion animated hedgehog in a dark fantasy musical film feature.


While there were no hats, this experience immediately failed to be nearly as satisfying as it first seemed, and was deemed a terrible idea quickly. Stop-motion animated hedgehogs in a dark fantasy musical film features don’t eat.

Princess Pricklepants didn’t want to be a stop-motion animated hedgehog any more.

And so she decided to be a clothing model.


She quickly realized that this was not her calling.  If hats were bad, clothes were much, much worse and not at all suited to a hedgehog, princess or otherwise.

Princess Pricklepants didn’t want to be a clothing model any more.

Her Highness realized that none of these were suited for a hedgehog princess, and that being a hedgehog princess was not nearly as bad as it first had seemed.

So she went back to studying etiquette again since studying etiquette was not nearly as bad as being a squirrel, a viking, a pirate, a stop-motion animated hedgehog in a dark fantasy musical film feature, or a clothing model.


After all, there was tea and cookies.


The New Princess

We’ve adopted a new Princes.  Princess (Name To Be Determined) Pricklepants.  The Council hasn’t come to a decision on a final name.  Some candidates are:








Her Highness is eating and drinking in her new home, and enjoyed anointing the hand servants with the two offerings.

As a result, she’s already had her first bath:


The princess also been given her first lesson:


“Wait, you want me to do what!?”



No!  No!  No no no!


“Hold on, I’m busy checking email.”


“Heh, nobody will ever find me here.”

Her place upon the throne has been secured.  More updates to come.

Princess Penelope Pricklepants, Sept 2013 – July 2016

Alas, there is no good way to say this.  Her Highness, Princess Penelope Pricklepants has passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. Beloved by friends, family, pets, and fans, she will be sorely missed. She was a light that burned twice as bright, but half as long, bringing delight and wonder.  All the best to her in her journey across the Rainbow Bridge.

Princess Penelope Pricklepants
Sept. 2013 – July. 2016
RIP, dearest sweetest hedgehog ever, you will be sorely missed.

rainbow bridge

rainbow bridge

Twenty Incredible Hedgehog Facts That Will Astound You

Dear Reader,

We apologize for this introductory paragraph, which serves little to no purpose.  We love introductory paragraphs so much that even when we don’t really need one for an article, we still feel compelled.  This one’s even worse since not only is it unneeded, but at this point it’s rambling on without even saying anything of any significance.  At this point we’re basically trapped, unable to find a suitable ending to a paragraph that need not even exist, so we’re just going to stop and again beg our pardon.  So now, on to the facts.

1. Hedgehog fact: More than one hedgehog fact is just an excuse to use a picture.



2. Attention deficit disorder hedgehog fact.



3. An incredible Sonic The Hedgehog related fact.



4. Fact: There are a lot of dorky hedgehog facts.



5. Fact: “The Trouble With Hedgehog Facts” is nine out of ten hedgehogs’ favorite Star Trek episode.  The rest prefer “The City on the Edge of Forever.”



6. Fact: hedgehog facts that are images with white backgrounds look a little funny.



7. A self-evident hedgehog fact.



8. Something all hedgehog owners know.



9. Don’t we all, though?



10. Mine! Fact!



11.Sometimes hedgehog facts are complicated.



12. Fact: Venti cups are objectively anti-hedgehog.



13. Fact: Hedgehogs are fun in many work environments, as well as non-work environments.



14. Fact: This is not just a problem for hedgehogs.



15: Cheese facts are the best facts.



16. Fact: We used this fact last time, but liked it so much, we’re using it again.



17. This fact is so true it doesn’t even require a brief preceding description, though we put one here anyway.



18.  Fact: We’re not air conditioning the entire neighborhood, young man.



19. Fact: So far as recent hedgehog art discoveries go, this is historic. In early 2016, hedgehog art researchers at the Louvre applied laboratory analysis of reflective light and color analysis to the Mona Lisa and made a truly remarkable discovery based on a recently discovered notebook by Da Vinci. The notebook referred to the work as “La Gioconda con Riccio” (happiness with hedgehog), while underpainting analysis now confirms the original work is actually a masterwork of hedgehog art. These are exciting times for hedgehog art critics and historians. We now know what the Original Mona Lisa looks like.




20. Fact: All fear the Hedgehog of War.



21. Bonus fact.



22. A first for hedgehog facts – a bonus bonus fact.


Twenty Two Mind-Blowing Hedgehog Facts That Will Change The Way You Think About Hedgehogs Forever

These hedgehog facts are all to true, amazing, and mind-blowing that we don’t even need any introductory text here, though we feel compelled to put something here anyway.


1. A hedgehog hubris fact.



2. A meta-hedgehog fact.



3. Hedgehogs are fashionably late with their Shark Week references.



4. A hedgehog fact you can’t debate.



5. A reliable hedgehog fact.



6. Please…



7. A not quite literary hedgehog fact.



9. The grooviest hedgehog fact, man.



8. Maybe not a hedgehog fact. Still a fact…  They’re so bad, sometimes it makes it hard to count.



10. A cryptic hedgehog fact.



11. Arr, another fact for ye.



12. In case you wondered.



13. A dynamic next generation strategic hedgehog fact focusing on core competencies.



14. A very important fact.  One day we look forward to a world without hedgehog witch trials.



15. Mmm, pie.



16.  Hedgehogs, why can’t they just share the hedge?  And also donuts…



17. A stellar hedgehog fact.



18. In hedgehog language “one who puts hats on hedgehogs” is a mild curse word.



19. Another Snow White related fact because we’re like that.  Dear Disney, please don’t sue us.



20. Fact: This fact was mostly an excuse to use this picture.



21: A fact for the nerds.



22. Another fact for the nerds.



23.If you look carefully you might be able to discover a hedgehog fact hidden in this photo.  Bonus fact: we were mistaken about there being 22 hedgehog facts in this article.hh_fact58

Hedgehog Facts

faToday we present an amazing collection of virtually believable hedgehog facts for your wonder, delight, and edification:


The truest fact of all.


They also hedge their bets


100% gnarly fact


Fun fact: Hedgehogs stand for Liberty, Justice, and Equality.


Surprising, but true.


Sadly, Walt had to remove the hedgehogs he originally put in his films due to complicated licensing issues.



“Looking sharp”


…and sometimes afterwards…


However, hedgehog programmers are quite talented.


Bonus fact: If you divide a hedgehog fact by zero, you get three wishes.


This is more advice than a fact, really.


Hedgehogs whose name starts with the letter ‘P’ get an additional 3% bonus multiplier.


Empirically verified by etiquette scientists.


Well known, but still fascinating.


The second most true hedgehog fact available.


This fact has raised a great deal of interest in hedgehog Patronus research.


A hedgehog Haiku and also a fact.


A shirt that will make the wearer seem smart, attractive, and interesting.

You can even get the shirt here.


Caution, beware of this hedgehog fact.


A startling hedgehog fact.


Princess Pricklepants and the Mystery in the Hundred Acre Woods

Hello again dear readers,

While there hasn’t been nearly a long enough delay, here we are with another post.  Like many others, it’s going in a slightly different direction.  If there are three phrases that describe us, they are “somewhat inconsistent,” and “not great at counting.”

A reader, Quentin, wrote in to mention that they did not believe the art works we had been posting recently were real art.  We can only say that art is the thing artists make, and we aren’t in any position to judge besides that since we’re not artists.

No readers wrote in to ask about their homework though many visited searching for answers to Princess Penelope’s Figurative Language homework, which we hope we were able to help with in our small way.

One person also arrived here searching for “can a hedgehog die by being too loud,” to which the answer is that hedgehogs do not like loud noises at all, it would cause them chronic stress, and they definitely shouldn’t be kept in loud environments.  Even if they don’t die, it’s cruel to expose them to loud noises. Don’t do that.

We’ve promised to move on from Hedgehog Art Through History series, as it was time for a proper story, so that’s what we’ll do.  Pretty soon.  Since we aren’t going to do a post on art, we wanted to share this remarkable illustration of a squirrel drinking coffee from a crazy straw from a rejected Alice in Wonderland story to make sure we’re not foolishly consistent.  This also give us the opportunity to subtly plug the new shirt with this design. Sorry.alice_squirrel_colorAnd so, as we always try to do, we begin our story with a picture with words under it.

Once upon a time, a very long time ago now, around last Friday, Princess Pricklepants was taking a lovely stroll in the garden.  Through a bit of digging, a few extra left turns, and perhaps not quite the right number of right turns, she wound up in a very unfamiliar place.  The colors were so very wrong that they weren’t even there, and everything smelled strangely, almost like paper.  She decided to pause, close her eyes and take in a nice deep sniff to see if she could smell the right direction to go.  In mid-sniff she heard a small squeaky voice.

“What is it Pooh?”

“Oh, I think it’s a Pricklebump.”

Her Highness was not a Pricklebump, but for the time being chose to let it pass as there were greater concerns, “Oh, hello, I’m afraid I’ve become so very lost I can’t even find my name to properly introduce myself.  So very sorry.”

“Well, hello whoever you are, I’m Piglet,” said Piglet.

“And I’m Pooh,” said Pooh bear, “Could we help you find your way?”

“I’d really be grateful, though there’s something else I’m missing I’m more worried about, but I’m not exactly sure what it is.”

Piglet was very worried, “Oh no!”


“Don’t worry,” said Pooh, “We can take you to Owl.  If anyone knows anything about something, it’s Owl who knows something or other.  Or maybe the other way.”

Piglet seemed slightly relieved, though not very much so.  “I s-s-suppose it’s not s-s-so bad, then. An adventure with Pooh and the Primpole will have t-t-to t-t-turn out.  I g-g-guess, unless there are W-W0ozles.”

He Highness decided the polite thing to do would be to just let the piglet with an anxiety disorder use an incorrect name since she didn’t have a proper name to offer.  These monochrome animals certainly did have a lot of odd pronunciations, and very strange habits with capitalization as well.

Her Highness wasn’t fully sure about the plan. “So, this Owl, does it eat rodents?  What about hedgehogs?”

Pooh giggled, “Oh no, Owl doesn’t eat.”

Her Highness was relieved, so they set on their way.  As they walked Pooh hummed a tuneless little melody which turned into a song about bees and honey and things.

Her Highness decided to make an attempt at conversation.  “You know, you’re a very unusual bear.” Her Highness was used to bears with Canadian accents who didn’t hum and sing about bees.

“Well, you’re rather unlike any, um, Prickly Animals I’ve met either.  Delighted to meet you.”

“Delighted to meet you too.”

They arrived at Owl’s home in a lovely old tree which was drawn really nicely.

Pooh said, “Now all you have to do is walk to the door and ring the bell, since a knock means you’re there to eat honey.  Or maybe it’s the other way.  I never remember.  Still, maybe you should knock, I could use a little Smackerel of something.”

pp_owlHer Highness wasn’t fully comfortable with this arrangement, but happily it didn’t matter, as Owl was already outside, hopefully not in the mood for eating any hedgehogs.

“Why it’s a Periwinkle,” exclaimed Owl, with his huge deadly talons gripping the branch.

Her Highness was working diligently not to lose patience with these creatures and their habit of calling everything the wrong name with strange capitalization, but knew better than to offer a correction to a rodent and hedgehog eating predator, as this wouldn’t be polite.

“Why hello Owl, it’s very lovely to meet you. I’m afraid I’ve become very lost, so lost I can’t find my name.  I met a bear named Ooh who suggested you might be able to help.”

“I’ve never met a bear named ‘Ooh.’ Very strange. Well, this thing you’ve lost, can you describe it?”

“It’s, well, you see, it’s difficult to describe.”

“Well, when you lose something, the customary procedure is to go back to the first place you saw it, then go to every other place you’ve ever seen it and eventually it’ll be in one of those places.”

This was helpful advice in a sense of trying to help, but also unhelpful in the sense of not being practical for someone who’s lost, or even for someone who wasn’t lost.

“Well thank you, I’ll toddle off and see about going to many places.  Oh, also, the bear wanted honey.”

“Oh, I’m afraid I’m all out due to a recent bear visit.  You’ll need to try a bee hive to find honey, maybe you could use a balloon to get some?”

“I’ve always had very bad experiences with balloons I’m afraid, but thank you. Very lovely visiting you, good bye.”  She hurriedly made her way from the large-taloned raptor.


As she scurried politely, she remember back to her last balloon adventure.  It had all started off so nicely, with a lovely balloon and no bees at all.


Then several seconds later there was a terrible sound, just the kind of loud sound she liked least in the world, really, and after the sound her former balloon wasn’t very lovely any more. No, there would be no balloons.

When she got back to Pooh and Piglet she carefully forgot to mention the balloon, bee, honey idea, but related the rest of the advice which they chose to ignore.  Not being sure what to do, they decided to walk about to see if the right idea might visit, though all the ideas that came to visit were never quite right.

As they walked, they eventually came upon a morose donkey despondently looking at its feet.


“Good afternoon, Eeyore” said Pooh.

“Oh, Good afternoon, Pooh, Piglet, hedgehog,” said Eeyore gloomily. “If it is a good afternoon,” he said. “Which I doubt,” said he. “It’s probably going to rain.”

“We seem to have a very confuddling problem, you see, this Pricklebump has lost a Thing, but she’s not sure what it is.”

“Oh, well.  Probably will never find it.  All the same, it’s better to lose Something and not know what it is, than to know what it is.  Then you can forget it, and go somewhere else to be Alone and Forgotten sitting in the Rain. Like me.”

“You’re not alone, dear Eeyore, since we’re actually here, silly.  Also it’s not raining.” said Her Highness, who was still quietly losing her mind at their capitalization habits.

“Oh, well it might not be Raining now, but one day it will. This Thing you’re looking for, what does it look like?”

“Oh, if I could draw it, I’d remember it for sure.  I went with Ooh Bear to see Owl, but they didn’t exactly help, and I’m quite erplexed, and at a loss for what to do.”

“Hmm,” said Eeyore.


“Does it perhaps look like the letter you keep forgetting to use?”  Eeyore made a P on the ground with some sticks.

“That’s it,” exclaimed Princess, “You’ve found it!  You’re positively perfect!”

With the letter P found, Princess Pricklepants was at last able to mention her name, which was a relief, as the pressure of being powerless to proffer polite greetings was perturbing. Pooh led the way to Christopher Robin who it turned out followed her on Twitter (Facebook being for old people), and so was able to help her find her way home, and all was well in the world again, wrapped up remarkably quickly since there was a 1,000 word limit which we actually passed a surprisingly long time ago.

So we must say, “The End” for a post that was mostly an excuse to show off some line drawings we’ve been working on as a trick to continue with Hedgehog Art Through History even when we weren’t supposed to.

Stay tuned for our next episode: Princess Pricklepants and the Mystery of Monkey Voters (working title)